Hi David

You have to trust me here, David. Did you really think that i valued his company more than yours? I was NOT making fun of your seven steps program of self-improvement. These are not jokes. They are nothing more than products of the general law of parties, or better: the laws of money. This guy is rich and there's no better way then sell those macho's art at a high price than giving them the idea that the artist responsible (that's YOU David) is a shy, scary animal that subdues to him, the lion of the stock market. Dont get me wrong: it's not that i make fun of you in order to fill my (and thereby your) pockets. I thought you understood the irony. This whole soliloquy about how the graphics of money markets are the new abstract art and the investors the new artist that change our conception of the world...you must have felt that i was making fun of the guy. And when it comes to your selfimprovement: surely thats not a question of cars, hot chicks and big houses like i suggested for theatrical effect. But in all sincerity, steps won't work for me. I see myself as a circle. Trapped. Everybody is looking for the ladder, but it doesnt exist.

Hi Ems

When it happened i had this flashback to this moment when you and me went to the gym. I never understood the physicality of the body. My body was always just there, plain and simple, not as on object of improvement. You seemed to feel aroused by the machine like movement of your body in that gym. I felt a victim to useless machine induced contractions. Ans then i saw that big guy with the t-shirt saying 'Pain is weakness leaving the body'. That made me realize that i was in another league then you. I always felt weak beside you even though i thought violence was a lack of manners. Today the history of violence began. There was this car driver giving another driver the finger that was so friendly to stop for me so that i could cross the street. Something happened to me. I was on my way to my father and was in need of friendly people. This finger just made me go bezerk. Then it all went blank. I kicked his car and when the man came out the history of violence began as my body become an instrument of pain leaving my body and entering his.

Hi Mom

Of course i will take care of that. It's just that i love the garden so much as it is. It has a random quality and it breaths fertility as if the plants try to send a message that life will not evaporate as soon as caring hands loose their strength. And the weed? This overwhelming force of regeneration, this persistence of unwanted weed (i never understood the difference between weed and plants) to reappear should be an inspiring lesson. But perhaps i think to much in metaphors but then again: so do you. There should be no shame, mom, really. Dont think the neighbours will take the beautiful chaos in the backyard as a mirror of your character. They know what's going on. They know you always take care of things. They love you. I love you.